Feb. 8th, 2005

badderthanyou: (Default)
Okay, so, maybe it hasn't been a week, but it feels like it.

I don't know if I can write this all down, but I'll try - more because it might help than anything else. The whole ordeal still gives me the wiggins like you wouldn't believe, but staying in Tara's room is helping a bit. Alot.

Okay, so, I walked over to talk to Angel the other night - not really a bad thing. I like Angel all right and it was nice to see he'd decided he didn't need to be locked up anymore. So, I told him Warren got me drunk and he got all weird. Then, asked if I wanted to take a walk. Did you know there is a lake behind the bar? No one told me that. Of course, after what happened out there, I doubt I'll be able to enjoy it much.

Oh, that wasn't even the worst part. He took me back to his room - he was sweet and gentle and everything he was doing felt so good - and I can't believe I can still think that, but he was doing stuff and being nice to me and I really thought it was Angel and that he liked me, until Tim came in and threw him across the room. I really don't remember much of what happened after that, except that Tim gave me shoes.

After that, I just ran away to hide and cry. What else was I supposed to do? I didn't know who to talk to or who to ask for help. And I didn't really want any. I just wanted to be alone. Away. Then this guy named Nick came into the laundry room and started talking to me. Apparently he's a bisexual vampire, which - weird, but okay, I guess. I mean, that could be why I told him about the stuff with Angelus - not in detail. And he told me what happened to Faith - which, I think Tim kinda mentioned when he came to get Angelus, but I really don't remember.

He told me I wasn't stupid for falling for Angelus' tricks and that he'd been through a similar thing when he was made into a vampire. Which kinda makes me feel better. And, he doesn't like Buffy all that much - which makes me feel even better. I mean, do you have any idea how many people just LOVE Buffy? Everywhere I go, I hear about all the great things she's done and how perfect she is. *gag* Even better - he offered to take me shopping and not just mall shopping, REAL shopping! Which is *so* cool - even if I have to go with Faith.

Did you know that Nick was a car once? I don't know exactly how he managed that, but it sounds pretty cool.

Nick got me a new room - next to Connor and Faith's new room (which I think is just Connor's room, but it wasn't far from Faith's old room) and down the hall from Nick's room. Which is kinda nice, really. Well, it would be if I could sleep there. I talked to Connor too - when I went up to my new room, after talking to Nick. He looked really tired and worried and kinda pissed. I mean, I get why - since he cares alot about Faith and all - but it's not the most comforting thing to see a guy like him all worried.

So, yeah, couldn't sleep - well, couldn't sleep without something akin to nightmares - so, I sneaked down into the bar... and things were suddenly far better than they had been. Tara. I love Tara. She always tries to help. She said I could stay in her room until stuff is better and she said she'd put up wards and protective spells and make me a protective amulet. See, that's why I love Tara. But, I was so tired; I just needed to get some sleep. I did ask her to let Nick and Faith know that I was staying in Tara's room.

I did sleep better last night. Make that, I actually slept last night. I like Tara's room. I like the wards on the door. And the books make it homey - familiar-feeling. I've really missed Tara. Really missed her. Since Buffy never had time for me and Willow's got her new girlfriend and the only person who seems to talk to me is Andrew and sometimes he's such a big geek that I just can't talk to him. And all the little wanna-bes running around? They make me crazy. And I liked this place - Milliways - alot before the other night. Stupid Angelus. Remind me to give him a swift kick when I see him again.

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Dawn Summers

September 2006

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